Babacracy: Unitary system of Governnment headed by a powerful life President. Minimum age of 60 required. See also, Nigerian “democracy”.

Chief: Traditional title sold by traditional rulers to the highest bidder.

Honorary degree: A “doctorate” degree confered on an individual by a higher Institution primarily as a form of political patronage.

Privatisation: Sale of public property to members of a countries’ ruling political party and other sycophants.

BPE: Bureau of Private Enrichment. See also, Privatisation.

Runway: Recreation park for cattle

Democracy defenders: People who “oppose” the ruling party on the basis of their exclusion from revenue “sharing.”

No-go-area: The real problem with a country that are not supposed to be discussed while trivial matters are being discussed. See also, Federalism, resource control, e.t.c

Court order: Worthless piece of paper that is not binding on the Presidential and Legislative arms of government.

Sacred cows: Members of the ruling party of a nation.

Universities: Nigerian synonym for glorified secondary schools.

Probe panel: Job opportunity for unemployed political hangers-on. See also, constitutional reform committee, Oputa panel e.t.c

Mantu (n) m-a-n-t-o-o: A tool used for illegal manipulation of constitutions.

Third term (adj) thûrd tûrm: Nigerian euphemism for life Presidency.

Public hearing (adj) pub•lic hîr ng: Secret meetings held by Politicians with the aim of feathering their own nests.

Patriotism (adv) p tr – -t z m : A word used to describe unquestionable loyalty to the President.

Election (n) -l k sh n: Selection of party loyalists by the President to political office.

Blueprint: A government paper detailing fantasy white elephant projects. Used primarily as a political tool to deceive the people.

Communique/report: worthless piece of document released at the close of lectures, seminars, probe panels and or committees. Usually contains grandiose speeches, unrealistic goals, castles in the air e.t.c See also, National political Reform committee report, Vision 2010 report.

Budget: Annual ritual by the legislative and Presidential arms of Government detailing resource meant to be “shared” amongst the three tiers of Political office holders.

Ecological fund: Money meant for electioneering campaigns, sharing among party chieftains, foreign bank accounts e.t.c See also, Dariye

Security Vote: Pocket money meant for Political office holders.

Sources:
- http://davidylan.blogspot.com/2006/03/know-your-nigerian-political.html
- http://davidylan.blogspot.com/2006/03/nigerian-political-dictionary-ii.html

I don’t know, but isn’t this dictionary itself quite unpatriotic?

1. So that EFCC can continue to witch hunt those who oppose Obj and ICPC will remain powerless.
2. To make sure generator importers continue in business since PHCN(Please Have Handles Nearby) won’t work.
3. Air crashes can continue and nobody (maybe except a hapless grass cutting laborer)will be found guilty of dysfunctional airports and aircrafts.
4. IGP and other top security brass will continue to steal 17 billion naira and spend six months, sorry one and half months, in jail because the remaining four and half months would have been spent in cosy,comfortable detention.
5. So that top politicians and government functionaries, like Bola Ige, Marshall Harry, Dikibo, can be assassinated and their assassins never found. In fact key suspects will be voted to top political positions while awaiting trial from jail.
6. Banking reforms may continue and see to it that more bankers lose their jobs. We just have to inflate the jobless market.
7. We definitely need more militias.How else can the guns used for rigging elections be put to use in non election times.
8. Governors need to siphon more money abroad to build refineries there.We need more governors like Alams who can easily wear a 2.5 million dollar wrist watch.
9. We need more armed robbers sorry, policemen, to collect twenty naira at toll gates, what is wrong with me, I meant to say, police check points. Anyway,IGPs need to have a few billions of their own.
10. More potholes are absolutely necessary. How else can we slow down our journeys and allow the real armed robbers rob of us of our hard earned cash.
11. Did I forget to say we need godfathers who can remove governors according to their whims and caprices, Oyo and Anambra states must be replicated all over the nation.
12. In fact,we just need a man who can mess things up for all of us since we are sub humans who do not deserve a better life and who else can achieve all the lofty goals but the great Obasanjo.

He goes on to suggest that President Obasanjo might be following in the hallowed footsteps of great men like General Sani Abacha of Nigeria and Mobutu Sese Seko of former Zaire.

Source: www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-8327.0.html

The inspiration for this site comes from the Onion, which claims to be “America’s finest news source”, so you could say that Naijarita News aims to become Nigeria’s Finest News Source! We’ll try to be more bloggy, publish articles daily instead of weekly, and deal with issues that most Nigerians can identify with.

What we are doing on this site is technically known as news satire or fake news. A list of popular news satire sites on the web can be found at directory.google.com/Top/News/Satire/, and we intend to make that list very soon, so watch out!